I hate goodbyes, something I experience a little too often in my opinion. And just to clarify, with my grandpa's recent demise in context, I am talking about the more temporary kind that occur at airports or houses. Every time I have to say goodbye to someone, it's like my heart is being pulled out (to be dramatic, in the least). Like there is a bubble of grief engulfing me wherever I go. How much ever I love traveling, I sometimes wish I could just stay in the same place forever just so I can avoid having to say goodbye. I often find myself delaying packing and going to airports late just so the goodbye part can be quick. After this trip to NZ and Australia, I thought I had gotten over my propensity to get too attached to people and not able to let go. But I guess I haven't.
Ever since my return, my cousin in NZ has been expressive about how much she misses us and me. Initially, I didn't feel the same sense of longing, and I was surprised by myself. But as the weeks passed, I realized how often I think about my cousin and my time spent there whenever I am free! My mind is constantly going back.
And today is the day before the bestie, Ms. Erica, is leaving for India and I came to realize how much I'm going to miss her only as I was walking away from her house. I think the last few minutes we spent together, both she and I realized that this was the last time we will be seeing each other for a couple of months, and I just couldn't come to accept it without becoming emotional. And so, (I think she noticed it too), I tried (as I always do) to hasten the goodbye. And as always, I find myself trying to console myself...that we will stay in touch with email, chats, FB, and what not. And we will see each other soon....
Why do goodbyes have to be so hard? Even the not so permanent ones?
No comments:
Post a Comment