Travel!

Quite a few things have happened in the last two months or so, that I wasn't sure how I could write about all of them. Or even if I had something to say at all about them. So instead, I thought I'd just list some of the more memorable moments:

1) Deciding to go to Las Vegas the night before, because of which I didn't have time to pack all my essentials, including glasses or spare pair of contacts. Having to put my only pair (that I was wearing) in water glasses only to wake up the following morning to see that my uncle had thrown it out and rinsed it so he could drink water from the glass. And mind you, I'm pretty blind. So on our return trip, I couldn't see any thing more than 6 inches away clearly. When we went to the buffet, I had to bring the entire plate up to my nose to be able to see what I was eating.

2) Last day at work. I'm always intrigued by how attached you get to things/people and don't realize it until they are gone. I'm glad to not have to work, but will miss the work life, feeling like an adult feeling, and of course the paycheck.

3) Traveling to India with the fam is always fun. Our schedules don't match up for us to travel together often, but we were able to travel together both to and from India.

4) Being with my grandma through her surgery. Actually being with anyone close to me through a surgery was big. The constant worry, tension that something bad might happen, took a toll. And I realized how the surgery is as painful and mentally testing on the patient's relatives as on the actual patient. The experience made me question my career goals even more, so we'll see where this year will take me.

5) Traveling with a friend. To Mumbai. That was pretty epic, as you can probably tell from my previous blog post.

6) Getting to talk to my cousins and hanging out with family members. Though I constantly complain how judgmental and almost mean my relatives are, always ready to give me unsolicited advice, it's always nice to be surrounded by people who care about you and get back in touch with them.

7) Traveling to my Dad's village after more than a decade to pay my respects to my grandfather. I'm very close to my mom's side of the fam, so it was nice to see where my Dad's fam came from and get closure.

8) Experiencing Bengaluru's monsoons. Once, we were stranded under a shop's roof and it was nice to just stand and observe how people manage the rains. And I still can't forget the time when I was pretty wet and decided to get hot coffee (I'm very much a cold coffee drinker). It was so nice to be drinking a hot drink in the cold rain with drenched clothing! I walked slowly, trying to savor the moment and got scolded for it. But it was worth it.

9) Being with my grandma through the post-operation period. Trying to push her to be more assertive on her knees. Trying to motivate her. And having to withstand her scoldings and anger whenever we did.

10) Traveling to Thailand! Looking up places on the internet, asking friends, and reading books to plan the ideal vacation. It was great to eat cheap street food, stay in a nice hotel (we really didn't know what we were getting ourselves into on this one, so the nice experience was a pleasant surprise). Being all touristy in the old part of the city, visiting temples and palaces. Eating street food. Walking the streets late at night and feeling pretty safe about it. Riding a tuk tuk, the sky train, and even a local bus (like the legit kind) after fighting with our taxi driver at the Floating Market and him driving off without giving us a ride back. Buying a lot of goodies at the weekend market.

11) Thinking our flight was at 11:30am and getting to the airport at around 8:30am only to realize that our flight is at 4:30 PM and killing that many hours at the airport. Mind you, check-in wasn't open yet, so this was at the terminals and not beyond security where at least there was some shopping to do.

It's been a crazy past couple of weeks and will continue to be so as I have 3 days to pack and say good-bye to all my friends in the Bay Area before leaving for the East Coast. But this is what I asked for. I will say though that as most people would agree, the more you are away from home, the more you realize how lucky you are and how much you have. And I am very thankful for both.

Mumbai Meri Jaan

have you heard that before? i have. and have wondered, what makes a city so endearing? especially this one. I've been wanting to go to Mumbai for quite some time now and finally got the opportunity to recently.

after spending 9 exhilirating days, i'm still trying to figure out what makes the city so awesome, the city where dreams come true:

1) is it really (like everyone says) the pace of the city? how one feels safe walking around even at 11 in the night because there are still all sorts of people out? from grandmas to kids? how you can get stuck in kilometers long traffic for hours together but still not get bored of looking out the window?

2) is it the constant rainfall that Mumbai people just accept and go around with life like it were nothing? the umbrella is the perfect accessory for everyone in the city, and armed with that, it seems like no amount of rain can stop them. i saw a grandma pulling her saree up and treading knee length pothole in the street. people were on the beach, rain or shine, with or without an umbrella.

3) is it eclectic group of people and cultures that comprise the city? how there are so many Italian restaurants, a full page of Mexican food choices in the menu of Indian restaurants. Or how at the home of our lunch hosts, they were speaking Gujrati, Marathi, Hindi and English?

4) is it the graciousness of people (though I admit, it's not exclusive to this city) who offer everything they have to guests, even when they are lacking themselves? like the slum dwellers who poured their heart out to me, but still offered me a full glass of water with a smile. or the auto driver who dropped us off and told us to be careful and made sure we crossed the shady area safely?

5) is it the multitude, and I mean numerous, things to do and places to see? from an attention calling, brightly decorated horse carriage around Marine Drive to the many markets in Bandra, Colabha, etc?

I still haven't figured it out. And probably won't. But (I think) I felt the city. I felt it's heart beat. And I'm going to join the millions in saying that I was blown and I can't wait to go back. Mumbai meri jaan, phir kab milenge hum dono?

Tumblr!

After looking at the mounting number of photos on my phone and not knowing what to do with them, I finally caved in and got a tumblr! Check it out and let me know what you think:

http://ticklemerain.tumblr.com/

Teddy Bear Love

I bought this huge (53") teddy bear today. Something I've always thought about owning and finally got around to. I was touched by the smiles and warmth it brought me just carrying it around the parking lot. It was interesting to see how carrying a huge teddy bear in your cart can break down the social barriers and stereotypes we so successfully surround ourselves with. As a person of color, I sometimes feel like I'm the odd one out. And it's mutual. I try to make eye contact and smile, but not with everyone, and not everyone reciprocates. So I was caught by surprise when people of all backgrounds were all staring and encouraging me. For once, it wasn't the color of my skin or what I was wearing getting me attention. If only we could forget our differences and judge people for who they really are and not on appearances, racial background, etc...until then, I guess we will have to rely on 53" teddy bears, among other things, to remind us that we are, above all, humans.

Welcome to San Francisco

So yesterday was my trip to ___ University and I had to note down some thoughts going through my mind.

This was my first trip alone, national flight to be specific, as I flew out to New Zealand by myself but that hardly counted as I was conveniently dropped off at SF and picked up at Auckland. This was the first trip where I had no one waiting for me on the other side, where I actually had to plan my whole day myself. And so it was a big step, more so for my parents I feel, than me.

Stealing from my friend's blog, I had several 'oh, this is my life' moments that I want to remember. Ever since I accepted my admission to Cal, I had always wondered what it would be like to go to a school far from home. What it would be like to live the American college life- going to a college far off, getting homesick and flying home to good food during the holidays. Not that I had any regrets about Berkeley, and honestly, I sometimes felt homesick even though I was only a few miles away, but still. Every time I went by SFO on Bart, I would wonder what it would be like to be a jet-setter. And so when I went to ____ University, flying through the night and flying back the next night, I was like, oh yeah, this is what I've always wanted to try.

Also, going to to a reputed institution like ____ has always been something I've been curioua about- the atmosphere, the professors, the smaller community, and of course, the 'prepiness' that you keep hearing about. And so, walking through the streets, looking at my reflection in glass windows and doors, I couldn't help but say to myself, oh yeah, this is me- living the life I had always wondered about.

...And onto the reason behind the title of this post. This wasn't as much an 'oh yeah, this is my life' moment, but more more of a realization I guess. I have always had a hard time defining the word 'home'. Is it India, where all my relatives are, where I was born, where I have lived the longest? Or is it Michigan where I spent my first few years in the US? Or is it the Bay Area? Where I found my identity and my passion? When we landed in SFO, the hostess said, as part of her usual courtesy, 'Welcome to San Francisco'. And that was the point when I felt like I was coming home, for the first time in a long, long time. I love SF, I love the people here, the diversity, the progressive thinking...this is where my confused state of mind regarding my cultural identity could just be and feel okay about it. But I was yet to come to terms with calling the Bay Area my 'home'. After my trip, I realized that for a place to be called your 'home,' you have to get away from it. And only when you miss it, when you long to go back and experience the familiarity you have always felt so secure in, can it be called 'home.' It took me a while, but I think I can finally say, I'm from the Bay Area....and be proud of it.

Looking Back, Part 3

(On an aside, I'm trying to cut down the length of my posts so the few people who do read my blog, don't get tired....but in my defense, it's hard to summarize a one-month trip to 3 blog posts!).

Australia was also awesome. Again, I think I enjoyed it mostly because I went with people who were looking for the same kind of experience as me. Instead of trying to cover as much ground as possible in the little time we had, we spent a whole evening on the steps of the Opera House, just taking in Darling Harbor and the Harbor Bridge in the day, sunset, and through the night. I loved not having to worry about the time, and just sitting on the steps, absorbing my surroundings. It was beautiful. (I'll try to post some pics here). Sydney is a much bigger city than Auckland, so it was nice to be able to feel the buzz of city life again. For New Years, we camped out the ENTIRE 31st day on the steps of the Opera House. It was unbelievable. We got there about 9am to reserve our spot. And mind you, they barricade the region after some time, so it wasn't even like you could go out of your designated area and come back or after a certain time. But it was worth it. I for one, haven't really done much to celebrate NYE. Like ever! And so, it was really cool to be out. And the fireworks were (pardon the repetition) amazing. There really is a difference between seeing it in person and seeing it on TV! You feel like you are so much closer. One tiny disappointment though was the fact that the crowd wasn't nearly as loud or energetic as I had expected and hoped. I was imagining a energetic crowd whose energy would be contagious...but we started counting down only from 5. And there were private parties in the Opera House from where music was booming, and I really didn't appreciate that. I mean, I know they spend hundreds of dollars on tickets, but that doesn't mean you cause others discomfort.

Other than NYE fireworks, we went to Blue Mountains, which have a blue hue apparently because of the chemicals released by the thousands of acres of eucalyptus trees. We also went walking on the streets of Sydney, and wow, I fell in love with the city! Though I didn't get to interact with Aussies as much as I would've liked to because it was a holiday and there were hardly any stores open, I loved the vibe I got. It was a mix of old, colonial buildings and new, modern sky-scrapers. I loved the contrast...something I haven't seen much of here in the U.S. And I loved that there were so many landmarks, they were all preserved. Actually, now that I think about it, I still can't figure out what exactly about Sydney I liked so much....food for thought I guess. We also traveled on the commuter train, which if I may say so, was very rudimentary compared to what I had expected it to be! It was like Cal-Train, but rewound, decades ago.

Wrapping up, it was a great trip that came at a good time in my life. And the cherry on top was that I heard about my job offer during my trip, so I could relax a little about what would happen once I came home. More than anything, the trip confirmed my love for traveling, inspired me to be more adventurous at home and on vacations, and gave me a new perspective on issues that have been cropping up in my life recently, like my future: my further studies, personal life, etc. So yeah, not sure what to write here to sum it up, so I'll go with :D and cheesy as it may be <3

Looking back, part two

What I ended up doing were outdoor adventures. I'm known in my family to be the coward when it comes to adventures and rides, so I was really surprised to hear myself say it. But I guess that's what a vacation allows you to do, it gives you the chance to go out of your comfort zone and try something new, something different, however cliched that might sound. And so we ended going snorkling, kayaking, on the cement luge, on a sky-lift and what not. I absolutely loved it. I loved the adventures, especially snorkling, which was scary at first. At a depth of around 20meters, the waters were 5X what I had expected them to be. But after a few minutes, I mustered up the courage and floated. And wow! I completely forgot the fact that I was snorkling, instead, it was like looking at a program on the Discovery channel...the waters were that clear! I loved the sense of adventure, I loved what I saw, and I loved being more daring and adventurous. I think from now on, I'm determined to step out of my comfort zone more often, and not just on vacations. I do want to try some stuff closer to home, like rock climbing, paint-balling and horse riding.

Other than the outdoorsy stuff, I also volunteered at my cousin's work-place. It was great because it gave me a chance to soak in the Kiwi culture. Living in my cousin's home, who is also the same ethnicity as me, I didn't get as much exposure to the Kiwi lifestyle as I had wanted but the work experience filled in that void. I was really impressed by the importance Kiwi's give to Maori culture and health. Maori culture is completely woven into the lifestyle there...from street names, to the law, to everyday life where there is an English and Maori name for everything. Though we do have laws to help Native Americans here, they are not nearly as prevalent as in NZ. What impressed me also was the fact that, as part of the Maori culture, they retained a spiritual aspect to life as well. For example, there was a 'Blessing' session where each of the posters to be put out were 'blessed' by prayer. I was really surprised and humbled by this. Here in the US, you often can't do that, as there will be people from many cultures and religions and you are obliged to stay neutral by taking a non-denominational stand. But I felt like the 'blessing' transcended religion. It was just asking for a simple blessing, irrelevant of who from. I feel like we sometimes get carried away with trying to ensure no one is feeling offended by being secular. Which of course, there is nothing wrong with, but I feel there is a difference between spirituality and religion. And in my humble opinion, spirituality is necessary for general well-being.

But I digress. Let's talk about the 'Land Down Under'.

Looking back... Kia Ora and G'Day

It's almost 2am and I'm still not feeling sleepy and so I thought I'd do something I've been putting off for weeks- blog about my trip to New Zealand and Australia now that I have returned.

Let me finish my list:

#13 Legal drinking age in NZ is 18, but a major can buy a minor a drink and it's still legal.

#14 Sales Associates compare your signature on the receipt to the one on your credit card. And credit cards have pins, like debit cards in the US.

#15 Presents are called 'pressies' in Australia

#15 And in my humble opinion, the Australia's commuter rail system is pretty primitive.


As you can probably tell by now, the trip was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I think it came at a really good point in my life as I was totally burnt out with applications to schools, jobs, and studying. It was nice to not think about all the question marks at that point in my life and just live day to day.

My cousins, who were hosting me, turned out to be way cooler than I had ever imagined them to be. I had never expected myself to get along with them so well.

The adventures I had was another thing. My cousins kept on asking me what kind of places I wanted to see. I somehow couldn't find an answer to that question. I thought about it and kind of had an epiphany. Usually, when my relatives visit me, what usually happens is that we drive to all the touristy places, spend a few mins there and drive to the next one, the goal being to cover as many places as possible.

In my opinion, I felt like we were never able to soak in the essence, the history of the place this way. After years of traveling like that from when I was little, I've begun to avoid it. If you think about it, for a "seasoned" traveler like me (I'm not sure I can claim this yet, but let's go with it for now), the thing that you remember of a place is how it made you feel, not the facts and figures you are bombarded with when you are there. And traveling like that, there was no way really, to get a 'feel' of the place to remember it by. And so I told my cousins that's not what I want to do. Especially in a developed country like New Zealand, which shares many similarities from climate to landmarks, to cities in the US.

I got a job

Say what? Oh yeah, I got a job.


No way! Um...yes way!


It's not full time, it might have slightly weird hours and I'm not entirely sure what my role will be but it's in the health field and it's research, so really, it's probably as good as it gets :D

I went against some people's wishes and had to spend several months searching. I decided for my life to go in a certain (perhaps not the usual) direction and really began to question my decision during these past few months. That maybe I had taken the wrong decision. And I wasn't the only one having second thoughts. But I see the light now! And looking back, even though it is a little early to conclude this now, I think it was a step in the right direction.

I am so relieved right now! I feel like I can breathe a sigh, if only for a few moments before the fear that I might get fired sets in. And I'm so thankful. For my family who supported me in my decision even if they were sort of insecure about it, for friends who helped me through the searching process and who continuously pushed me to not lose hope, and everyone else. (Sounds like an award acceptance speech doesn't it?)

So yeah, I'm dancing, I'm smiling, and I'm happy :D

Au Revoir!

I hate goodbyes, something I experience a little too often in my opinion. And just to clarify, with my grandpa's recent demise in context, I am talking about the more temporary kind that occur at airports or houses. Every time I have to say goodbye to someone, it's like my heart is being pulled out (to be dramatic, in the least). Like there is a bubble of grief engulfing me wherever I go. How much ever I love traveling, I sometimes wish I could just stay in the same place forever just so I can avoid having to say goodbye. I often find myself delaying packing and going to airports late just so the goodbye part can be quick. After this trip to NZ and Australia, I thought I had gotten over my propensity to get too attached to people and not able to let go. But I guess I haven't.

Ever since my return, my cousin in NZ has been expressive about how much she misses us and me. Initially, I didn't feel the same sense of longing, and I was surprised by myself. But as the weeks passed, I realized how often I think about my cousin and my time spent there whenever I am free! My mind is constantly going back.

And today is the day before the bestie, Ms. Erica, is leaving for India and I came to realize how much I'm going to miss her only as I was walking away from her house. I think the last few minutes we spent together, both she and I realized that this was the last time we will be seeing each other for a couple of months, and I just couldn't come to accept it without becoming emotional. And so, (I think she noticed it too), I tried (as I always do) to hasten the goodbye. And as always, I find myself trying to console myself...that we will stay in touch with email, chats, FB, and what not. And we will see each other soon....

Why do goodbyes have to be so hard? Even the not so permanent ones?