I don't know what to title this post because it's going to be a lot of things. I don't want to give the impression that I've been really affected by my grandfather's passing away or that I've been moping around. I lived with him for almost half my life and there are warm memories for me to cherish. But that was a long time ago and like everyone, I can hardly remember my infant years. More than anything though, this is one of the times where I regret being an expatriate.
My paternal grandfather passed away on Thursday. I guess it came as a shock to all of us because it was my grandmother whose health had been ailing and doctors were warning us about. It seems like my grandpa was up early in the morning to use the bathroom and suffered from a massive heart attack. It wasn't until later when my grandma woke up and noticed he was gone that she went to check and called for help. Among other things that bothered me, I right now really wish I were in India. I wish I could've seen my grandpa a few more times. Of course I'll feel this way now that he is gone I guess? But more than anything, I wish I were there with my family right now. I miss the rituals, I miss the coming together of family members to say goodbye, I miss being able to cope with the empty feeling with others. Thousands of miles away here, besides being shocked, it's hard to come to terms with the fact that he is no longer on this Earth anymore. It may sound weird to people who have been to funerals, but I actually wish I were there for this one so I could confront the loss and try and cope with it among close ones who are going through the same feelings.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Job Search
I just came back from my day of interviews and had to find a space to vent..so here goes:
My first interview was for a healthcare company. I arrived on time..there was a written part which took me a little longer than expected because directions were kind of vague. But I managed to finish it and thought I did pretty good. Then there was the 'panel' part. Which, you know, by the sound of it, you would think consisted of these top notch officials looking to see how passionate and qualified you are for the job. But no, it composed of two other interns I would be working with and two other people, one of whom didn't speak at all and the other asked only a few questions. I introduced myself and did everything according to the book: setting up the context, explaining why I'm interested, qualifications, etc. But it was awkward. The so called 'panel' felt very inexperienced in these things. They didn't know what questions to ask, there were silences when I didn't know whether to initiate something or not. This might seem full of me, but I honestly felt older than the other two interns, more mature, and like I've been through more. Maybe I wasn't prepared for the interview because I couldn't really find material on the internet and didn't know what to expect, but I honestly came off feeling good about it. And then I met with another person...older and I'm guessing in charge of the project. She event told me that I did fine on the written part and interviewed well. So how did that make me feel? Good! Until a few hours later when I get the email that though I did well on the test and interviewed 'really well', they couldn't offer me the position.
I am irked. Mostly at nobody's fault, but I have to vent. One for the last lady who had raised my hopes of getting the job. Another for the interns who, looking back, might have felt almost (for lack of a better word) threatened by my answers? I don't know. But I feel like I did a mistake by interviewing so well! Like maybe I shouldn't have been so elaborate on my descriptions to make it seem like I have done so much? Should I have played it down so they would think I'm more capable of a data-inputting job? Maybe they think I'm overqualified? But I have to start somewhere! I'm sorry, I feel really mean saying this, but how could the interns who interviewed me get the job when I couldn't. Of course I'm just bitter about it so I'm not thinking properly but I'm so sick of jobs on the one hand that say Masters degree required and on the other hand reject me like this. I mean, what is a girl supposed to do??? :(
My first interview was for a healthcare company. I arrived on time..there was a written part which took me a little longer than expected because directions were kind of vague. But I managed to finish it and thought I did pretty good. Then there was the 'panel' part. Which, you know, by the sound of it, you would think consisted of these top notch officials looking to see how passionate and qualified you are for the job. But no, it composed of two other interns I would be working with and two other people, one of whom didn't speak at all and the other asked only a few questions. I introduced myself and did everything according to the book: setting up the context, explaining why I'm interested, qualifications, etc. But it was awkward. The so called 'panel' felt very inexperienced in these things. They didn't know what questions to ask, there were silences when I didn't know whether to initiate something or not. This might seem full of me, but I honestly felt older than the other two interns, more mature, and like I've been through more. Maybe I wasn't prepared for the interview because I couldn't really find material on the internet and didn't know what to expect, but I honestly came off feeling good about it. And then I met with another person...older and I'm guessing in charge of the project. She event told me that I did fine on the written part and interviewed well. So how did that make me feel? Good! Until a few hours later when I get the email that though I did well on the test and interviewed 'really well', they couldn't offer me the position.
I am irked. Mostly at nobody's fault, but I have to vent. One for the last lady who had raised my hopes of getting the job. Another for the interns who, looking back, might have felt almost (for lack of a better word) threatened by my answers? I don't know. But I feel like I did a mistake by interviewing so well! Like maybe I shouldn't have been so elaborate on my descriptions to make it seem like I have done so much? Should I have played it down so they would think I'm more capable of a data-inputting job? Maybe they think I'm overqualified? But I have to start somewhere! I'm sorry, I feel really mean saying this, but how could the interns who interviewed me get the job when I couldn't. Of course I'm just bitter about it so I'm not thinking properly but I'm so sick of jobs on the one hand that say Masters degree required and on the other hand reject me like this. I mean, what is a girl supposed to do??? :(
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